I don’t actually know how to do this. Isn’t it so easy to get completely caught up in what’s going on in your head, that you forget that there are other ways to do things? We follow the same patterns for years, never thinking, “Wait, maybe this isn’t the best method for me.”
Let me back up a little: I quit the job that I wrote about in my last post. There were a number of reasons for doing that that I’m not going to get into right now, but regardless, I’m left looking for work and trying to figure out where to go from here. And for the first time in a couple of years, I feel completely directionless.
I’m motivated by goals. Most of us are, I think; we have a vision for our future, and we set out to obtain it. Simple enough. But we all have different ways of achieving this: Some of us are more about visualization, positive energy, what have you. All of which I think is very, very important. I wouldn’t say I’m incredibly skilled at those things, but I’m learning. I like yoga and tea, I can focus on my deep breathing well, and my mom has been a great resource for helping me become a more optimistic person.
Then there’s the hard work, go get ’em types. This has never been me, as much as I’d like to think that it is. High school? I coasted. I did the minimal amount of work to get by. Pretty much the same in college, but all of a sudden, I started to care. I liked what I was studying, but I couldn’t bring myself to put in the amount of time and effort that my classmates did. I know I judge myself very harshly, but I don’t think that I did everything I needed to to get the most out of my college education.
In the real world, I’ve learned how to buckle down. I’ve kept an open mind, and wavered a bit from my true dreams in order to find a career path that was more in demand. I focused on social media, and began to learn everything I could about digital marketing. I felt confident, but not overly confident; I was still open to learning everything I could.
As soon as I started at this latest job though, I knew something was wrong. Pair that with my medical issues, and you have a classic bicycle analogy: I was riding along, and I began peddling faster, and faster, and faster… and then I fell off. And now? I’m afraid to get back up on the bike. Not only that, but I’m afraid it’s not the right bike for me to be on.
So, I think it’s time to hit the reset button. I’m not restarting my career, per say, but I need to…
- Adjust how I go about things, which is almost always in a passive way. I’m a passive person, I know this, so I need to work on being more assertive.
- Focus more on daily goals, as I have a bad habit of getting ahead of myself and seeing a task as huge and impossible, instead of breaking it down. One day at a time.
- Continue to work on the positive thinking aspect. Because I think that it’s truly a combination of mental and physical that gets us where we need to be. At least, that’s what I’m counting on.
- And finally: I need to forgive myself. Not for quitting my job, but for every little thing. We all make mistakes, but we don’t all let them go.
Here goes nothing…